It is important to build your child’s self-confidence, and this applies to all children.   One of the easiest ways to build your child’s self-confidence is to support his or her passion.  For example if your child loves soccer, music, swimming, gymnastics or another activity, use this activity to build their confidence.

We will like to share our experience with our Deaf son Larry.  Larry loved sports from a toddler; he would sit or lie down in front of the TV and just watch sports, all sports.  Larry was a very active toddler, so we noticed what kept him interested for an extended period.  While Larry attended Kendall Demonstration Elementary School on Gallaudet University campus he played basketball and some soccer.  But Larry always had surplus energy.

When we moved to Massachusetts, Larry was 10 years old.  Larry started playing soccer; formally I should say, in the town league.   Just about that time Larry started reading soccer magazines for children around his age.  Which also helped in improving his reading skills.   So one day Larry put Raz and I to sit down and he outlined his plan for his future with soccer.  He wanted to play soccer for the Marlboro town league, the Massachusetts club level, the Olympics and World Cup Soccer internationally.  Raz and I said, yes we will support him, even though we did not know how he was going to do all this.  So Larry led and we supported.   Larry achieved all his soccer goals except playing at the World Cup Soccer level.  Larry played at the highest club level in Massachusetts for one of the most elite clubs, at California State University in Northridge and the USA’s Men’s Deaf Soccer Olympic Team.  You can read our story for complete details on how Larry accomplished his goals.

Larry’s experience with soccer built his self-confidence tremendously.  It was something we never dreamed about.  We just saw his confidence grow and explode.  Which made him a really strong person.  This really helped with peer pressure.  Larry saved his allowance to purchase his favorite professional soccer teams jerseys and he wore them frequently to school.  He was serious about soccer, his health, and eating right, that is, salads, fruits and drinking water.  So he did not get involved in such activities as smoking cigarettes in High School, which I think was such a big plus for us.  It really was a blessing in disguise.

While playing soccer at the club level, Larry was fortunate to have a coach that valued Larry’s passion, skills, enthusiasm, and dedication to the game and deafness was not an issue.  Larry was playing soccer at the highest club level for the elite Boston Eagles Club.  Larry loved and respected this coach.  He valued the coach’s advice on non-sports topics such as education.  The coach advised him that education came first and soccer second. You can listen to our podcast with this coach at http://www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com/brian-ainscough-larrys-favorite-soccer-coach

I remember Brian said to us to allow him to go wherever he wanted to go to school.  The reason being if he changed his major and he loved the school he will stay there and continue his education.  If he has to change schools it will delay his graduation.  Brian had experience with other university students and even his own experience coming from abroad.  He told Larry that he shared the same passion for soccer, but your education is important and nobody can take that away from you.  For example, if you have an injury in sports it can affect you playing professionally. Brian said he wished he had paid more attention to his education.

He came to school in the states from Ireland and his first priority was playing division I soccer and eventually pro.  He told Larry that he had no one to advise him because his parents were in Ireland.  He came to the USA on his own.  As parents we want to be there for our kids as much as possible.

The amazing thing is whatever your child’s passion, in addition to listening to you, they would listen to the coach or that leader.  And sometimes they even listen to them more or are more receptive to what they are saying.  Because they think you as a parent is preaching to them.  The coach is like another ally, so that is a good thing.

As parents we all want confident children!  When you build your son or daughter’s self-confidence as a child, it pays off when they become a teenager.  It will help them with peer pressure, with school and with their goals.  When you build your son and daughter’s self-confidence as a teenager, it pays off when they become adults.  When they are in university by themselves or when they have moved out.  This will carry through with them the rest of their lives.  So we invite you today to focus on building your child’s self-confidence by supporting their passion!  Usually children have more than one passion.  Larry’s second passion was social studies and geography, which was completely different from soccer. That was his undergrad major.  That helped him with his reading and communication skills.  This is a gift you can give your child that will be with them forever.  Nobody can take their self confidence away from them.  It is never too late to start!

We talk about Larry’s self confidence and his passion in sports and soccer.  But I want parents and people to know that it did not only come out on the soccer field, with this coach and the players.  It came out in all areas of his life.  When he was choosing a school he was confident enough to say I want to go to this school all the way on the west coast in California.  He did his masters, he traveled, he played soccer abroad, he founded I think 3-4 groups and he is on the Board of Directors at Deaf Inc.  He is involved in International Committees for the Deaf.  So you know he is a leader in the Deaf community.  We saw the confidence on the soccer field and his love for soccer, but now it just blossomed in all different areas of his life.  And that is what you have to look at, the benefits to your children.

All this advice is for children in general.  The only additional thing you need to do if you have a Deaf child is to be able to communicate with them. And that is by learning ASL, American Sign Language.

For us at Deaf Parenting our resolution is to provide information that can give you hope and help you with the challenges and joys of parenting a special needs child.  Let us know which topics you will like to hear more on.

Building your child’s self confidence is very important to their future.  Make sure you give them your full support.

Please visit our blog at www.deafparenting.com sign in and download the free PDF and audio of our story.  We appreciate your comments and feedback.  Please feel free to share Your Story with us on the blog.  I am sure it will help other people on their journey.