It is so difficult for Hearing Parents to let go of their Deaf Children but they must let go!

I must confess that I like to be in control of any situation so it is very difficult for me to just let go.  Well, Larry, Amrit and Raveena (our first and only grandchild) has been living with us for the last few years.  They are both teachers passionate about teaching but their teaching salaries could be better.  So they have been saving and looking for a house.  We all thought a house in our neighborhood would be ideal, close to Alex and me.

Well, Larry and Amrit bought a house in our town, about 15 minutes away.  So, it is in our town and not in our neighborhood.  Alex and I were a little reluctant to let go.  Not of Larry and Amrit so much but of Larry and Amrit, Deaf parents with a baby.  Raveena is 14 months old and they have been living with us since her birth.

Well, it turns out my mom was worried about Larry, Amrit and Raveena moving too.  So last night Alex and I called her to give her the latest details on Larry, Amrit and Raveena’s move.  And we found ourselves convincing my mom why she should stop worrying.  My mom is very close to Larry.  He is her first grandchild and she took care of him while Alex and I worked for his first 4 years of life.

So this is what we told my mom:

1. Larry and Amrit are very independent.  Larry was born independent and Amrit is the same way.  Alex and I are both independent, so we understand independence.  Actually independent children are parent’s blessings.
2. Larry and Amrit are so excited and proud of their new home and this new chapter in their life.  So it is very good for them to have their own home and grow as adults.  It turns out that the neighborhood of their new home is very welcoming.  Three neighbors welcomed them yesterday.  One neighbor who is the original owner of his home has been living there for 40 years.  He was the assistant superintendent of Marlboro public schools and he knows and remembers Larry from when Larry played varsity soccer for Marlboro High School.  The next door neighbors have a son who will be celebrating his second birthday next weekend and they invited Larry, Amrit and Raveena to the party.
3. When Larry left home and went to California to university he blossomed and did exceptionally well.  So this is a new opportunity for him to excel.
4. Larry and Amrit have lived on their own in Maryland while they were in graduate school for their Masters in Deaf Education.
5. Larry and Amrit are loving, caring, responsible and great parents.  We have seen this first hand while they have been parenting Raveena for the last 14 months.

This morning I got up from sleep, it is pouring rain, gloomy and dreary and a difficult drive to work.  But I felt incredulously joyous, like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders!  Then I realized while convincing my mom why she should not worry, I have convinced myself too.

So I must say, if you as parents, did your job right raising your Deaf or special needs child, treating them as normal as possible, their wanting to have independent lives is the true confirmation of your job well done!

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