Alex and I were very young parents when we found out Larry was deaf.  Larry is now a successful Deaf adult.  Based on our experience we feel it is very important for hearing parents to learn American Sign Language (ASL).  Here are my thoughts on hearing parents learning ASL.

Having a deaf child was totally new experience to us and we were learning and adapting as we went along. Alex and I had no books on learning sign language and no sign language classes were available for hearing parents of Deaf children in Trinidad.  We were extremely lucky to attend a Summer Learning Vacation at Gallaudet University in Washington DC, when Larry was 3 years old.  While attending this 2 weeks program we started to gain an insight on signs and learning to sign.  I remember seeing a hearing toddler running around signing mom as she looked for her mother.  Alex and I realized that it was important to learn to sign so we could communicate with Larry.

We were extremely fortunate to have an experience at the Summer Learning Vacation that made us commit fully to learning sign language to communicate with Larry.  This experience was sad but it also was very enlightening to new parents of deaf children.  There were presentations by Deaf adults to new parents of deaf children and at these presentations, Deaf adults were crying, yes, crying when they told the story of their parents and family members never learning to sign.  This really touched our hearts and really sealed our commitment to learn sign language.

When Larry was 4 years old we moved from Trinidad to Washington DC, so that Larry could attend school at Kendall Demonstration Elementary School at Gallaudet University.  Every Saturday morning we had our routine, Alex and I would be spending all morning learning sign language at Kendall School.  Charisma, Larry’s younger sister, attended daycare with the deaf children and their hearing siblings at Kendall too.  Charisma learned to sign very quickly.

While taking sign language classes we were asked if we wanted to learn signed English or ASL.  Not knowing the full differences and being hearing parents who were “attached to English” we said signed English.  I wished we had chosen ASL; it would really have accelerated our communication with Larry.

When Larry was 10 years old, we moved to Massachusetts.  At Larry’s new school, The Learning Center for the Deaf, the classes offered were ASL.  Every single year, I attended ASL classes, it did not matter what the weather was like or how busy my schedule was at work.  I was a software engineer who traveled about 1 week every 2 months for work.  I am so thankful that I persisted and learned ASL.  It really did pay off.  Larry was very at ease in sharing his thoughts and ideas with us at home.  For example, Larry and Charisma inherited Alex’s wonderful sense of humor and there were always so much joking and humor around.  We were enjoying communication like a regular family.

I remember once, Larry had just gone up to Middle School.  I was still buying his school clothes and had bought some new clothes for him.  Also his bedroom still had kids cartoon character curtains.  The first day of school, when I arrived home from work, Larry came to the kitchen to talk to me.  He said “I am growing up and I need to start choosing my own clothes.  And we need to get new curtains for my room.”  I started to laugh; Larry asked “what was so funny?”  I said you, and how you are growing up.  Right after dinner Larry and I went to the mall which was 30 minutes away and he chose some new clothes and new curtains and bedspread etc.  This experience might sound trivial to you, but the fact that I knew ASL allowed Larry and me to have a fun, normal mother and son moment.

I am really happy that I took ASL classes until Larry left home and went to university.  The signs you need for a pre teen are very different than the signs you need for a teen.  Knowing ASL really paid of when Larry was a teenager because ASL is faster than sign English we were able to have better more fluent conversations.

So please learn ASL to communicate with your deaf child.  I know it is extra work and effort.  But it is something you must do, so you can have effective communication with your child.  It does not matter if you child is hearing or deaf, you as a parent must communicate with them from the time they are born.  You want to be able to enjoy life everyday moments such as choosing clothes or big moments like what is their favorite teacher or sporting activity or getting their drivers license.  Communication with your children when started early will prevent many challenges when they are teenagers.

Also it is never too late to start to learn ASL.  Currently Alex is taking an ASL refresher class at DEAF, Inc.

Please share your thoughts on hearing parents learning sign language!

To get our free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio at www.DeafParenting.com.  It could change your life!

Written By:  Raz Stephen