Larry Stephen, a Northern Essex professor who was born deaf, teaches at North Andover High three days a week.

See related newspaper article.

Les and Ona Brown and Raz and Alex

This weekend Raz and I attended the inspirational seminar, “Discover Your Power Voice” with Les Brown.  Les Brown is the Emmy award-winning, world renowned motivational speaker, author and television personality.  The seminar was truly inspirational.  Les Brown OVER DELIVERED CONTENT!  The topics, materials, the guest speakers and the warm family environment were sensational.  The sessions could have gone on to midnight and no one would have noticed.

On our way there we were saying to ourselves that there is a divine purpose for us going there and there are people we need to meet.  The seminar was way over what we expected to say the least.

Les Brown: Motivational speaker, coach and author.  He was down to earth, engaging and passionate.  He is really an inspiration.  “Darkness cannot exist where there is light”.  His sense of humor makes the time fly by.  “You have greatness in you”.

We met his children who are all involved in the business in some way.  We met Les Brown’s daughter Ona Brown.  She is a fabulous speaker, with the gift to touch others, especially women.  Les Brown’s daughter, Serena, is in operations and spoke about her Dad values for excelling in education.  Les Brown’s daughter, Samia, did the video taping and spoke of how good a father Les was to his children.  We were also fortunate to meet and listen to Les Brown’s son, John-Leslie “High Hopes” Brown.  John-Leslie is sensational and his mission is to reach children and teens through his music and speeches, “This is my Time”.  What a pool of talent and promise for the next generation.

We were also fortunate to meet Dr. Julie VanPutten and Vincent Toran.  Dr. Julie is so calming and serene; one of her quotes was “Intention Drives Attention”.  In our discussions with Dr. Julie and Vince they revealed so much that we can do to help others with our story.  Vince has the ability to look into the information and come up with such profound interpretations and different perspectives.  There was truly a divine presence at this seminar.

Bill Walsh, what a remarkable human being.  He is so talented, humble and his passion to help people shows.  He is so approachable as everyone else at the seminar.  Bill is involved with Win University, Powerteam International, and Rainmaker Summit, in addition to being a venture capitalist.  Bill really keeps you engaged.  I took notes when Bill was speaking and every line that I wrote has a message, it is so powerful.  “Everyone is approachable”.  “Schedule your success or you will surely plan your failure”.

We met several of Les Brown’s platinum speakers, Andy Henriquez , Ming Wong and Vincent Toran.  They were all powerful speakers who have been through Les’s training.

Les Brown over delivered with: the material, the caliber of guest speakers and opportunities.  The seminar exceeded anything I could have imagined.

www.deafparenting.com

www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com

Bristol Community College

BBC offers an Associate in Arts in Deaf Studies.  The Deaf studies program explores the language, culture, history and contemporary issues of Deaf people.  Fundamental to the program are both competency in American Sign Language and a desire to work with Deaf people and not for them.  This program prepares students, both deaf and hearing, who are interested in a professional career working with Deaf, hard-of-hearing or late-deafened persons to transfer to a four-year college or university in the field of their choice.

Northern Essex Community College in Haverhill MA

NECC offer 2 associate degrees in Arts in the Deaf Studies program.  One in ASL and the other in Sign Language Interpreter.

ASL option provides with an understanding of ASL and Deaf Culture.  Graduates will be able to both continue their education at other insitutions of higher learning and to gain employment in group homes, and other facilities providing services for Deaf people as the program provides for career exploration within the Deaf community.

The Sign Language Interpreter option provides students with a broad educational experience based on a balance and diversity of general education, ASL and interpreting courses. This associate degree provides for career exploration within the Deaf community and the basic academic preparation for possible transfer to bachelor degree programs.

NECC also offers a certificate in ASL in the Deaf Studies program.  This program provides students with an opportunity to develop an understanding of the profession of interpreting for Deaf and hearing individuals and the knowledge, attitude and skills necessary to function as entry-level professional interpreters.  Also provides students with career exploration within the Deaf community.

Quinsigamind Community College, Worcester MA.

QCC within it’s General Studies program offers a Deaf Studies associate degree.  This Deaf Studies offers students the opportunity to explore the role and function of an interpreter for Deaf and hard of hearing individuals.  Graduates will be provided with a basis for continuing on to a four year college in the area of Deaf Studies or in an Interpreter Training Program.

Tim’s parents supported his passion for soccer and basketball. Tim’s accomplishments show that you should always have high expectations of your self and your child.  Teach your children to reach for the sky, their achievements have no limits; they can be top in the field they chose.

We really want to encourage parents to have faith, a positive attitude, make your child welfare a high priority and you will reap boundless miracles!

Please read or listen to our life story on the interesting life we have raising our Deaf son and the numerous miracles we received.  Our son’s accomplishments went beyond our wildest dreams!  When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade!

Larry did amazing in the field of soccer; listen to our podcast with Larry’s favorite coach:

http://www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com/brian-ainscough-larrys-favorite-soccer-coach

Here is a podcast that gives you guidelines on using your child’s passion to build their self confidence:

http://www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com/building-your-deaf-child%e2%80%99s-self-confidence

The US Mens world cup soccer team deserved this win playing against a great Algeria team.  They were persistent despite the wrong calls by the officials in this and the previous match.  But that did not stop them from pursuing their vision which was advancing to the next round.  This is the type of examples our children need to succeed in their lives.  Personally as a soccer player myself, the father of a soccer player and watching the US games, I believe it has made them stronger and more determined to advance even further.  I anticipate a great result for this US team in the World Cup 2010 in South Africa.  Parents, support your child’s passions and the results will amaze you.

1. Parenting a special needs child is challenging, have faith and make sure you have a good support system of family, friends, and people from your child’s school system.
2. Make the welfare of your child a high priority.  Your efforts will be rewarded.
3. Treat your child as normal as possible; do not feel sorry for your child (or yourself) and spoil or baby them.  Just treat and love them as you would your other children.
4. *Your goal should be raising a good, happy, confident and independent adult who can be the best he or she can be.
5. Be involved in your child’s education: educate yourself about your child’s disability, understand your child’s strengths and areas for improvements, and develop an effective relationship with your child’s teachers and special needs services department.
6. Meet and interact with adults that have the same disability as your child, this will give you a great idea on the achievements your child can attain.
7. *Your child greatly benefits when both parents, share in the experience of raising the child.
8. *Develop a close relationship and good communication with your child.
9. *Build your child’s self confidence by supporting their passions and hobbies.
10. *Know that being different is fine.

*Applies to all children

Raveena's Dedication at Grace Chapel.

On a beautiful and sunny Sunday, May 30th 2010, we had Raveena’s dedication to God and a celebration party. Raveena was born on August 3rd 2008 on a beautiful sunny Sunday. She is hearing. The name “Raveena” means beauty of the sun. Her middle name “Jasleen” means absorbed in singing the praises of God. Amrit and I chose both her names with care.

At Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts, Raveena’s dedication was a huge honor for her. The purpose of dedication is for God to bless Raveena to grow healthy and show the bright future she has.

In the picture you will see us, her parents, Amrit and I. The paternal grandparents (hearing) are Razeyah and Alex. Her aunt and godmother (hearing) is Charisma. The Deaf godparents are Christina and Rich. Her other maternal grandparents are Dial and Swaran (they live in Singapore and acknowledged the dedication day). We announced our family members and godparents in front of the church congregation. We received a certificate of dedication for Raveena. The pastor, church staff and interpreters who performed and arranged the dedication needs to be commended for a job well done.

In the backyard of our home in Marlboro, Massachusetts, we had the reception party. We invited close friends and special guests. We ate healthy appetizers, lunch dishes, and healthy Asian cake. The adults chatted and catch up our old news. At the same time, they met new people and got to know each other. Children played with bubbles and recreational stuff. We celebrated God’s blessing dedication to Raveena Jasleen Stephen.

My family is the Stephen Family, 2nd generation in the USA!

The Christian ministry for the Deaf provides the following services:

-Interpreted Sunday mornings worship services at 10:00 AM .  (Summer schedule varies.  Need to contact Vivian Marcano vivian@grace.org for the summer schedule).

-Bible class

-Ministry for the Deaf events

-Interpreting available at other events on request

-American Sign Language classes (ages 14 – adults)

-American Sign Language classes for children

Larry, Amrit and Raveena- Dedication reception at their home

Our son Larry and Amrit his wife are strong and independent Deaf adults.  They both have Masters degrees in Deaf Education and are both teachers, who own their home.  Larry and Amrit have a beautiful daughter, Raveena.  They are excellent parents!  Raveena is their number one priority!  When Amrit and Raveena are together, Amrit never takes her eyes off Raveena!  Amrit’s keen sense of sight allows her to make up for things she might miss from not hearing.

Raveena is a bright, beautiful, happy and normal almost 2 years old.  She loves all types of music, but her favorite is classical.  Raveena loves to dance, once she hears music she starts moving her feet.  Raveena is learning to speak and sign.

If you are a father of a special needs child and reading this blog, hooray!  We are so happy that you are involved in your child’s life!  We really, really want to congratulate you and encourage you.

If you are a mother reading this blog, and you will like your husband or spouse to become more involved with sharing in the responsibility and joys of raising your special needs child, please share this information with him!

For our podcast on this topic please go to http://www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com/

Today we want to encourage both parents to stay involved and really understand that you have a specific role in your child’s education and life.  It is sad but true that about 80% of the families with children with significant special needs get divorced. This makes it very difficult for the children as well as the families.  We know there is a lot of stress and extra efforts, with having a special needs child, but the need to work together for the child is critical.  We both think that if you have the strength and the resources, do whatever it takes to stay together or get together, put your differences aside and support your child.  Your child will benefit tremendously from having both parents, fathers and mothers, involved.  Don’t get divorced, that is the best.  And in the end, you as parents will reap the benefits.

What can parents do?  Parents need to be there to support their kids.  In my opinion when you get that news it is a shocker.  But you have to get over the news and set your priorities.  Your child’s future and education takes highest priority.  The way I look at it, that’s the cards that life dealt you, and you have to work with it.  Do not look at it as an extra burden.  However, look at it as your life experience and do what needs to be done so that your child receives the best.  You need to be there to support your children.

For example: you can carry over the lessons of the day, by reviewing the work your child did in school.  Discuss and see what questions they have and see what you can do to add to that work.  This is very important because you help the child and yourself.  Larry for example, was extremely good in science and math.  He just picked up the math.  But he had challenges with reading, because English was a second language and American Sign Language (ASL) was his first language.  So when you are involved you see where your child needs the extra help.  And you can always work that into the IEP with the Special Needs Department and the school.

You want to make it a rule of thumb to help your child with their homework.  I know we did this with Larry and Charisma.  At one point Larry said I am independent and I can do this on my own.  If I need help I will come to you.  He drew the line and said you do not have to sit with me every evening.  That was really good to see him reach that stage in his development.

You can help your child with the big picture.  And what I mean by that is have conversations with them.  It does not have to be structured conversations, and it can be casual around the house or in the yard.  Talk about the importance of school and give examples of successful people to your kids, the importance of teachers and their peers.  For me my mom did that with me all the time and that got ingrained in me.  I always had mentors or people I wanted to emulate.  Talk about the importance of family, church, if you attend church, and current events.  It can be local, regional or international.  Just try and communicate.  It creates a good bond and your child will trust you more and can confide in you.

Parents need to help foster friendships with other kids. The kids with disabilities have a harder time; they don’t live as close to their class mates and friends.  Most likely they live in one town and goes to school in another town.  For example, Larry lived in Marlboro and went to school in Framingham.  All his friends were from school, so he had no friends in our neighborhood.  His friends lived across town or in adjoining towns.  So I think it’s up to you as parents to arrange play times etc.  You can take turns with other parents for arranging activities.

You can tell them they’re doing a good job.  Complement them when they do a good job.  Also, let them know of areas for improvement.  It really goes a long way. This really goes a long way because your children look up to you.  And the more you are involved they just blossom.  So the parents’ involvement is so important

This is a special call to fathers.  We want to encourage you to share the responsibilities of supporting you child.  It’s not just getting your son or daughter to a soccer game on Saturday or Sunday.  It’s the practices, the homework, the preparation, and a lot of “atta boys and atta girls”.  Let them see that you really enjoy being with them.

You may be thinking, why should we do this?  We want to tell you that you will get the rewards from being involved.  So we want to encourage you and give you hope.  If both parents, fathers and mothers, are involved most likely your child is going to become more confident, have higher self-esteem, do better at school work, perform better at and enjoy extracurricular activities more, be more adjusted, and have a better future.

The more time and efforts you put in now, your child will become more independent as a teenager and an adult.  And the more independent your special needs child become, it will be easier for you to let go.  Just yesterday a parent was asking how they can go on vacation by themselves without their deaf child.  It starts from day one.  You have to encourage independence and support your child.  As parents of special needs children we shoulder the responsibility of their care and this play a major role in our plans, for example, where we live and work etc.  The more independent your child becomes, your responsibility becomes less.  Think about this, it means you worry less!  This is a really big reward!

So we want to encourage both parents, fathers and mothers, to team up to ensure that your child become the best he or she can be.  You both can share the responsibilities to support your child. Think about the brilliant, out of the box ideas both of you can think about when you put your heads together.  We found that once you make it a priority you get the energy to do it.  We are not saying it is easy.  Yes, it is a lot more effort, but if you both make it a priority and share the responsibility, it is doable!

Parents it is all about mindset.  Look at the situation as a joy, this is my child and I will do the best.  The rewards are unimaginable just listen to our family story.

Sign in and download the free PDF and audio of our story at www.deafparenting.com.  We appreciate your comments and feedback. Please feel free to share your story with us on the blog. I am sure it will help other people on their journey.

We will like to share our experience with our Deaf son Larry.  Larry loved sports from a toddler; he would sit or lie down in front of the TV and just watch sports, all sports.  Larry was a very active toddler, so we noticed what kept him interested for an extended period.  While Larry attended Kendall Demonstration Elementary School on Gallaudet University campus he played basketball and some soccer.  But Larry always had surplus energy.

When we moved to Massachusetts, Larry was 10 years old.  Larry started playing soccer; formally I should say, in the town league.   Just about that time Larry started reading soccer magazines for children around his age.  Which also helped in improving his reading skills.   So one day Larry put Raz and I to sit down and he outlined his plan for his future with soccer.  He wanted to play soccer for the Marlboro town league, the Massachusetts club level, the Olympics and World Cup Soccer internationally.  Raz and I said, yes we will support him, even though we did not know how he was going to do all this.  So Larry led and we supported.   Larry achieved all his soccer goals except playing at the World Cup Soccer level.  Larry played at the highest club level in Massachusetts for one of the most elite clubs, at California State University in Northridge and the USA’s Men’s Deaf Soccer Olympic Team.  You can read our story for complete details on how Larry accomplished his goals.

Larry’s experience with soccer built his self-confidence tremendously.  It was something we never dreamed about.  We just saw his confidence grow and explode.  Which made him a really strong person.  This really helped with peer pressure.  Larry saved his allowance to purchase his favorite professional soccer teams jerseys and he wore them frequently to school.  He was serious about soccer, his health, and eating right, that is, salads, fruits and drinking water.  So he did not get involved in such activities as smoking cigarettes in High School, which I think was such a big plus for us.  It really was a blessing in disguise.

While playing soccer at the club level, Larry was fortunate to have a coach that valued Larry’s passion, skills, enthusiasm, and dedication to the game and deafness was not an issue.  Larry was playing soccer at the highest club level for the elite Boston Eagles Club.  Larry loved and respected this coach.  He valued the coach’s advice on non-sports topics such as education.  The coach advised him that education came first and soccer second. You can listen to our podcast with this coach at http://www.raisingdeafchildrenpodcast.com/brian-ainscough-larrys-favorite-soccer-coach

I remember Brian said to us to allow him to go wherever he wanted to go to school.  The reason being if he changed his major and he loved the school he will stay there and continue his education.  If he has to change schools it will delay his graduation.  Brian had experience with other university students and even his own experience coming from abroad.  He told Larry that he shared the same passion for soccer, but your education is important and nobody can take that away from you.  For example, if you have an injury in sports it can affect you playing professionally. Brian said he wished he had paid more attention to his education.

He came to school in the states from Ireland and his first priority was playing division I soccer and eventually pro.  He told Larry that he had no one to advise him because his parents were in Ireland.  He came to the USA on his own.  As parents we want to be there for our kids as much as possible.

The amazing thing is whatever your child’s passion, in addition to listening to you, they would listen to the coach or that leader.  And sometimes they even listen to them more or are more receptive to what they are saying.  Because they think you as a parent is preaching to them.  The coach is like another ally, so that is a good thing.

As parents we all want confident children!  When you build your son or daughter’s self-confidence as a child, it pays off when they become a teenager.  It will help them with peer pressure, with school and with their goals.  When you build your son and daughter’s self-confidence as a teenager, it pays off when they become adults.  When they are in university by themselves or when they have moved out.  This will carry through with them the rest of their lives.  So we invite you today to focus on building your child’s self-confidence by supporting their passion!  Usually children have more than one passion.  Larry’s second passion was social studies and geography, which was completely different from soccer. That was his undergrad major.  That helped him with his reading and communication skills.  This is a gift you can give your child that will be with them forever.  Nobody can take their self confidence away from them.  It is never too late to start!

We talk about Larry’s self confidence and his passion in sports and soccer.  But I want parents and people to know that it did not only come out on the soccer field, with this coach and the players.  It came out in all areas of his life.  When he was choosing a school he was confident enough to say I want to go to this school all the way on the west coast in California.  He did his masters, he traveled, he played soccer abroad, he founded I think 3-4 groups and he is on the Board of Directors at Deaf Inc.  He is involved in International Committees for the Deaf.  So you know he is a leader in the Deaf community.  We saw the confidence on the soccer field and his love for soccer, but now it just blossomed in all different areas of his life.  And that is what you have to look at, the benefits to your children.

All this advice is for children in general.  The only additional thing you need to do if you have a Deaf child is to be able to communicate with them. And that is by learning ASL, American Sign Language.

For us at Deaf Parenting our resolution is to provide information that can give you hope and help you with the challenges and joys of parenting a special needs child.  Let us know which topics you will like to hear more on.

Building your child’s self confidence is very important to their future.  Make sure you give them your full support.

Please visit our blog at www.deafparenting.com sign in and download the free PDF and audio of our story.  We appreciate your comments and feedback.  Please feel free to share Your Story with us on the blog.  I am sure it will help other people on their journey.