Through this busy time when family celebrations are happening, it is really important to have effective communication with your Deaf child and to include them in all the activities.  Your hearing children are picking up from general conversations, phone conversations etc what is happening and all the plans that are being made.  It is very heart breaking to realize after the fact that you went to visit relatives and your Deaf child does not even know the names of the relatives.  Some planning can ease your frustration and your child’s frustration.

Here are some tips:

1. Try to explain to your child the family plans.  You can do this by explaining to your child what the family will be doing tomorrow or on the next trip.  For example, we will be going to the airport, taking a plane to New York to visit Aunt Jane, Uncle Joe and Cousin John and June.  Use pictures and sign language to explain to your child the names of new people they will meet.  When your child is older and can read you can always write a simple itinerary and share it with all family members before trips.
2. Make the effort to interpret for your child what is being said.  You can share the interpreting among various family members.  An excellent place to interpret what is happening is at the dinner table.
3. Concerning going to worship, most places will provide an interpreter if you contact them early enough.  You can volunteer to contact the interpreter and make the arrangements if necessary.  It is strongly recommended that you request an interpreter at least 2 months in advance, or find worship services where they provide an interpreter all year round.  The place of worship should pay for the interpreter.  What we have been doing lately when we visit out of state is attend a church which has an interpreter and Deaf members.  The last church we went to had a Deaf minister and interpreter, with all the people in the same service and location.  Larry and Amrit really enjoyed worship and felt included.
4. I have found that young children are very eager to learn to sign.  You can send a sign language book or DVD to your child’s cousins before the visit so they can learn some signs.
5. Everyone enjoys learning the signs for the various holidays.  Have your child teach the relatives those signs and other signs.  Make it a fun activity.
6. If you are visiting some where, make sure the TV closed caption is always on.

I hope these simple tips are helpful!  Please add your tips by commenting on the blog!  Happy Holidays!

Alex Stephen invites you get our Free story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child”.   Please go to www.DeafParenting.com sign in and download the FREE PDF or AUDIO.  Discover how our Deaf child grew up confident, independent and successful beyond our imagination!  We appreciate your comments, and you are welcome to share “Your Story” on our blog.  It could change someone’s life!  Thank You.

In this article, I will discuss:

What is an IEP

Give tips for having an effective IEP that meets your child’s educational needs

An IEP is a document that details the special needs services for special needs students.  The IEP includes any modifications that are required in the classroom and any additional special programs or services.  In the USA an IEP is mandated by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA 2004).  The IEP will address your child’s educational needs, and contain specific, measurable short term and annual goals for each of those needs.

This written statement is developed by your child’s teachers, and is reviewed and agreed to by your child’s special needs education funding organization and you, the parents.  The IEP describes the goals the team sets for your child during the school year, as well as any special support needed to help your child achieve his or her educational goals.

In our case with our deaf son, Larry, we lived in Marlboro, MA and Larry attended school at The Learning Center for Deaf Children in Framingham, MA.  The town of Marlboro funded the cost of his education.  So we dealt with the special needs education supervisor in Marlboro and Larry’s teachers in Framingham.

The IEP meeting is usually attended by the child’s classroom teacher, the child’s department supervisor, the funding special needs education supervisor and the parents.

The IEP document can be very daunting lots of pages with a lot of official sounding documentation.

Here are tips based on our experience on ensuring your child has an effective IEP that meets his or her educational needs:

Tip#1: You as parents need to be proactive and take an active role in developing the goals for your child’s IEP.  You need to have regular interactions with your child’s teachers and school supervisors to understand what your child is being taught, how your child is progressing and what your child will be taught next.  This will help you in 2 ways: firstly you will be able to understand what is being stated in your child’s IEP and you can make sure which educational needs will receive the most attention.  Secondly your child’s teacher will realize that you are interested in your child’s education and they will make extra efforts on behalf of your child.  I firmly believe that it is always good to set high expectations for the people working with your child.  For more details and examples on setting high expectations please see our story at www.deafparenting.com.

Tip#2: Usually your child’s special needs education funding organization will have meetings a few times a year to discuss their plans etc.  Attend as many of these meetings as possible and develop a relationship with the supervisor for your child’s special needs education.  This relationship will allow you to discuss and make requests suited to your child’s educational requirements.

Tip#3: We requested a copy of Larry’s IEP 2 days before the IEP meeting so my wife and I could review the IEP.  Your child’s teacher is usually very busy developing IEPs so you need to give the teacher early notice that you need the IEP for review.  Having a relationship with your child’s teacher and the funding special education supervisor will really help here because you will already know what level of education your child is at and what is the next level of education and services to be addressed in the IEP.

Tip#4: You need to remember that you as parents can bring with you to the IEP meeting others involved with your child that you feel are important for the IEP team to hear, such as, your child’s psychologist or tutor.  I would recommend keeping surprises for the IEP team to a minimum and again your working relationship with your child’s education team should help you resolve issues and have agreements on your child’s educational needs before the IEP meeting.

Tip#5: Parents should remember that IEPs can be updated any time during the year.  For Larry, he was very good at mathematics and we had the IEP amended during the school year to provide Mathematics tutoring during the summer for the next level of Mathematics.  Since we had a good relationship with our town’s special needs education supervisor, this was easily done and Larry had his Mathematics teacher as a tutor during the summer.

Tip#6: Here are a couple of things I wished we would have done differently.  In middle school Larry was struggling with Reading and English.  He had a literature class where the reading material was Shakespeare.  We knew he was struggling with Reading and English and this class was frustrating him a lot.  We should have had a discussion with this teacher and the Middle School supervisor and find a solution that met Larry’s needs and have his IEP amended.  In addition, we should have requested a tutor for Reading and English where the tutoring was done in American Sign Language

For more information, the government has a website to educate anyone about IDEA: http://idea.ed.gov

To get our Free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio at www.DeafParenting.com.  It could change your life!

Having a deaf child was totally new experience to us and we were learning and adapting as we went along. Alex and I had no books on learning sign language and no sign language classes were available for hearing parents of Deaf children in Trinidad.  We were extremely lucky to attend a Summer Learning Vacation at Gallaudet University in Washington DC, when Larry was 3 years old.  While attending this 2 weeks program we started to gain an insight on signs and learning to sign.  I remember seeing a hearing toddler running around signing mom as she looked for her mother.  Alex and I realized that it was important to learn to sign so we could communicate with Larry.

We were extremely fortunate to have an experience at the Summer Learning Vacation that made us commit fully to learning sign language to communicate with Larry.  This experience was sad but it also was very enlightening to new parents of deaf children.  There were presentations by Deaf adults to new parents of deaf children and at these presentations, Deaf adults were crying, yes, crying when they told the story of their parents and family members never learning to sign.  This really touched our hearts and really sealed our commitment to learn sign language.

When Larry was 4 years old we moved from Trinidad to Washington DC, so that Larry could attend school at Kendall Demonstration Elementary School at Gallaudet University.  Every Saturday morning we had our routine, Alex and I would be spending all morning learning sign language at Kendall School.  Charisma, Larry’s younger sister, attended daycare with the deaf children and their hearing siblings at Kendall too.  Charisma learned to sign very quickly.

While taking sign language classes we were asked if we wanted to learn signed English or ASL.  Not knowing the full differences and being hearing parents who were “attached to English” we said signed English.  I wished we had chosen ASL; it would really have accelerated our communication with Larry.

When Larry was 10 years old, we moved to Massachusetts.  At Larry’s new school, The Learning Center for the Deaf, the classes offered were ASL.  Every single year, I attended ASL classes, it did not matter what the weather was like or how busy my schedule was at work.  I was a software engineer who traveled about 1 week every 2 months for work.  I am so thankful that I persisted and learned ASL.  It really did pay off.  Larry was very at ease in sharing his thoughts and ideas with us at home.  For example, Larry and Charisma inherited Alex’s wonderful sense of humor and there were always so much joking and humor around.  We were enjoying communication like a regular family.

I remember once, Larry had just gone up to Middle School.  I was still buying his school clothes and had bought some new clothes for him.  Also his bedroom still had kids cartoon character curtains.  The first day of school, when I arrived home from work, Larry came to the kitchen to talk to me.  He said “I am growing up and I need to start choosing my own clothes.  And we need to get new curtains for my room.”  I started to laugh; Larry asked “what was so funny?”  I said you, and how you are growing up.  Right after dinner Larry and I went to the mall which was 30 minutes away and he chose some new clothes and new curtains and bedspread etc.  This experience might sound trivial to you, but the fact that I knew ASL allowed Larry and me to have a fun, normal mother and son moment.

I am really happy that I took ASL classes until Larry left home and went to university.  The signs you need for a pre teen are very different than the signs you need for a teen.  Knowing ASL really paid of when Larry was a teenager because ASL is faster than sign English we were able to have better more fluent conversations.

So please learn ASL to communicate with your deaf child.  I know it is extra work and effort.  But it is something you must do, so you can have effective communication with your child.  It does not matter if you child is hearing or deaf, you as a parent must communicate with them from the time they are born.  You want to be able to enjoy life everyday moments such as choosing clothes or big moments like what is their favorite teacher or sporting activity or getting their drivers license.  Communication with your children when started early will prevent many challenges when they are teenagers.

Also it is never too late to start to learn ASL.  Currently Alex is taking an ASL refresher class at DEAF, Inc.

Please share your thoughts on hearing parents learning sign language!

To get our free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio at www.DeafParenting.com.  It could change your life!

Written By:  Raz Stephen

In Larry, Amrit and Raveena’s house the kitchen was separated from the living and dining room by walls like this:

For better visual communication, Larry and Amrit removed the walls of the kitchen, now the kitchen, living and dinning room is one open area. Now Larry, Amrit and Raveena can easily communicate from anywhere in the kitchen, dining room and living room.

I must confess that I like to be in control of any situation so it is very difficult for me to just let go.  Well, Larry, Amrit and Raveena (our first and only grandchild) has been living with us for the last few years.  They are both teachers passionate about teaching but their teaching salaries could be better.  So they have been saving and looking for a house.  We all thought a house in our neighborhood would be ideal, close to Alex and me.

Well, Larry and Amrit bought a house in our town, about 15 minutes away.  So, it is in our town and not in our neighborhood.  Alex and I were a little reluctant to let go.  Not of Larry and Amrit so much but of Larry and Amrit, Deaf parents with a baby.  Raveena is 14 months old and they have been living with us since her birth.

Well, it turns out my mom was worried about Larry, Amrit and Raveena moving too.  So last night Alex and I called her to give her the latest details on Larry, Amrit and Raveena’s move.  And we found ourselves convincing my mom why she should stop worrying.  My mom is very close to Larry.  He is her first grandchild and she took care of him while Alex and I worked for his first 4 years of life.

So this is what we told my mom:

1. Larry and Amrit are very independent.  Larry was born independent and Amrit is the same way.  Alex and I are both independent, so we understand independence.  Actually independent children are parent’s blessings.
2. Larry and Amrit are so excited and proud of their new home and this new chapter in their life.  So it is very good for them to have their own home and grow as adults.  It turns out that the neighborhood of their new home is very welcoming.  Three neighbors welcomed them yesterday.  One neighbor who is the original owner of his home has been living there for 40 years.  He was the assistant superintendent of Marlboro public schools and he knows and remembers Larry from when Larry played varsity soccer for Marlboro High School.  The next door neighbors have a son who will be celebrating his second birthday next weekend and they invited Larry, Amrit and Raveena to the party.
3. When Larry left home and went to California to university he blossomed and did exceptionally well.  So this is a new opportunity for him to excel.
4. Larry and Amrit have lived on their own in Maryland while they were in graduate school for their Masters in Deaf Education.
5. Larry and Amrit are loving, caring, responsible and great parents.  We have seen this first hand while they have been parenting Raveena for the last 14 months.

This morning I got up from sleep, it is pouring rain, gloomy and dreary and a difficult drive to work.  But I felt incredulously joyous, like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders!  Then I realized while convincing my mom why she should not worry, I have convinced myself too.

So I must say, if you as parents, did your job right raising your Deaf or special needs child, treating them as normal as possible, their wanting to have independent lives is the true confirmation of your job well done!

To get our free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio.  It could change your life!

The teacher shared information on the origin and structure of American Sign Language (ASL).  Thomas Gallaudet was interested in sign language and went over to France and met with Clerc.  ASL has a French structure i.e. Object, Verb, Adjective and Subject at the end which is quite different from English.  The American School for the Deaf in CT was the first school for the Deaf.  After that Thomas Gallaudet and Clerc started Gallaudet University in Washington D.C.

We learned of Deaf cultural rules.  It is a visual world with the Deaf needing more personal space to communicate.  American Sign Language is a language with gestures and fluid expression.  The teacher mentioned how advanced technology is today for example with videophone versus TTY.

There were 14 students in the class.  People were from different backgrounds and wanted to learn American Sign Language for a variety of reasons.  During the introductions I explained that we wanted to empower Deaf people and in particular, hearing parents with Deaf children with our experience, who are going through what we went through when we learned that our son was Deaf.  People were from different work backgrounds; speech therapist, working with disabilities, synagogue, church, early childhood education, nurse, human services provider, medical interpreter, and care giver.  The students are from diverse ethnic backgrounds also; Brazil, India, Japan, African American, Asian, Indian and Caucasian.  Two persons are experiencing hearing loss.  One will be completely Deaf soon and his doctor recommended that he learned American Sign Language (ASL).  The other was in an accident and lost his hearing for a period of time.  Due to that experience he is trying to learn signs so he can communicate with a Deaf child were he lives.

I was the only person in class with a Deaf child.  It is amazing to see how people are so aware of the Deaf community and want to be able to communicate with them.  This is so different from 26 years ago.  The majority of the people in the classes then were people with a child or relative that was Deaf.  This is really exciting and I cannot wait for our future classes.  We will learn to communicate in American Sign Language (ASL) and tell people of our background, family and different experiences.  This will be fun!

Written by: Alex Stephen

To get our free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio.  It could change your life!

To get our free full family story “Unimaginable Miracles- A Family’s Journey with a Deaf Child” please sign in and download the free PDF and/or Audio.  It could change your life!